During this time my favorite pet rabbit dies. My daughter continues with her rebellious ways. She decides to become pregnant again gives birth to a sick baby who undergoes major surgery at only 2 days old. Three all together, she stays in the hospital for 4 months and once she's discharged she's in and out every month and now almost every other week she's admitted. Our good friend passes away and last Sunday I find out my 18 year old nephew gets hit and killed by a car. I don't know what exactly is going on but I don't believe in bad luck but that's what it feels like. Or what did I do to get so many problems all at once? Or is this what real adult life is like?
I finally let myself cry just yesterday after our bestfriends burial. I felt so much better I guess I really needed to just release the pain I was feeling but not just about our friend but about everything that's been happening. I felt so happy that I was able to fall asleep without any problems. Only to be awakened at 1am by my phone ringing, my grandbaby who's now just 8 months is once again admitted to the hospital. So there goes my stress again trying to take over.
I was thinking about all this it's just been horribly difficult to remain sane and in control through all this. I thought maybe schools should teach kids from a young age about the stress of life. We learn about everything except about life and the ups and downs and how to remain stress free. Now I realized why so many people snap and go crazy and do really crazy things and end up on the news and in jail. I always, always passed judgment without even knowing why people do these things. Now I feel that I understand if someone snaps it's obviously that they have lots of stress and problems in their life which they just can't figure out how to control. It's extremely easy to let yourself go and give in to all the crazy thoughts that flood your mind when you're completely stressed out.
I have to really be grateful for my little ones I really believe that I've stayed strong and tried my best to keep positive thoughts because of them. Of course my prayers and my trust in a higher power has helped me the most of all. If I couldn't pray and ask whatever force is out there for help with my thoughts and remaining in peace. I wouldn't be able to deal with anything. Believing that there is a higher being or powere who is in control of everything. Whom I can turn all my troubles to for a resolution somehow makes me feel relieved.
It gives me a positive outlook about everything. I am now a stronger person mentally but still extremely stressed. Although I am capable of controlling it a little better now and basically just taking it a day at a time, that's all I know how to do at least for now.
